Blonde Jokes |
| Blonde Joke #1 |
Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck. |
| Blonde Joke #2 |
Q1: How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's whiteout on the screen.
Q2: How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's writing on the whiteout. |
| Blonde Joke #3 |
Q: Why did the blonde ask her friends to save their burned-out light bulbs?
A: She needed them for the darkroom she was building. |
| Blonde Joke #4 |
Q: Why did the blonde climb over the glass wall?
A: To see what was on the other side. |
| Blonde Joke #5 |
Q:Why did the blonde jump off the building?
A: She had just bought Always with wings. |
| Blonde Joke #6 |
Q: Why did the blonde keep putting quarters in the soda vending machine?
A: Because she thought she was winning. |
| Blonde Joke #7 |
Q: Why did the blonde take 16 friends to the movies?
A: Under 17 not admitted! |
| Blonde Joke #8 |
Q: Why did the blonde bake a chicken for 3 and a half days?
A: It said cook it for half an hour per pound, and she weighed 125. |
| Blonde Joke #9 |
Q: Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar?
A: She heard that the drinks were on the house. |
| Blonde Joke #10 |
Q: Why did the blonde resolve to have only three children?
A: Because she heard that one child out of every four born was Chinese. |
| Blonde Joke #11 |
Q: Why did the blonde secretary cut off her finger?
A: She wanted to write shorthand. |
| Blonde Joke #12 |
Q: Why did the blonde snort Nutra-Sweet?
A: She thought it was diet coke. |
| Blonde Joke #13 |
Q: How can you tell when a blonde is wearing pantyhose?
A: When she farts, her knees bag. |
| Blonde Joke #14 |
Q: Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?
A: Because it said 'concentrate'. |
| Blonde Joke #15 |
Q: Why did the blonde take two hits of acid?
A: She wanted to go on a round trip. |
| Blonde Joke #16 |
Q: Why do all blondes all have a dimple on their chin and a flat forehead?
A: Finger on chin-I don't know. Hits forehead-Oh I get it! |
| Blonde Joke #17 |
Q: Why do blondes drive BMWs?
A: Because they can spell it. |
| Blonde Joke #18 |
Q: Why do blondes drive cars with sunroofs?
A: More leg room. |
| Blonde Joke #19 |
Q: Why do blondes drive VW's?
A: Because they can't spell PORSCHE. |
| Blonde Joke #20 |
Q: Why do blondes hate M&Ms?
A: They're too hard to peel. |
| Blonde Joke #21 |
Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?
A: From eating with forks. |
| Blonde Joke #22 |
Q: Why do blondes have more fun?
A1: Because they don't know any better.
A2: They are easier to keep amused.
A3: Because they are easier to find in the dark. |
| Blonde Joke #23 |
Q: Why do blondes have see-through lunch box lids?
A1: So they know if it is morning or afternoon.
A2: So that when they're on the train they can tell if they're going to work or coming home. |
| Blonde Joke #24 |
Q: How can you tell when a FAX had been sent from a blonde?
A: There is a stamp on it. |
| Blonde Joke #25 |
Q: Why do blondes have square boobs?
A: Because they forgot to take the tissues out of the box. |
| Blonde Joke #26 |
Q: Why do blondes have TGIF on their shirts?
A: Tits go in front.
Q: Why do blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes go in first. |
| Blonde Joke #27 |
Q: Why do blondes like lightning?
A: They think someone is taking their picture. |
| Blonde Joke #28 |
Q: Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails?
A: To cover up the valve stem. |
| Blonde Joke #29 |
Q: Why do blondes take the pill?
A: So they know what day of the week it is. |
| Blonde Joke #30 |
Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A: Because that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables. |
| Blonde Joke #31 |
Q: Why do blondes wear earmuffs?
A: To avoid the draft. |
| Blonde Joke #32 |
Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?
A: To keep from bruising their ears. |
| Blonde Joke #33 |
Q: Why do blondes work seven days a week?
A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday. |
| Blonde Joke #34 |
Q: Why do men like blonde jokes?
A: Because they can understand them. |
| Blonde Joke #35 |
Q: How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?
A: She fell out of the tree. |
| Blonde Joke #36 |
Q: Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month?
A: Because it says on the box: "good for up to 20 pounds." |
| Blonde Joke #37 |
Q: Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman than a regular one?
A: You have to hollow out the head. |
| Blonde Joke #38 |
Q: Why don't blondes double recipes?
A: The oven doesn't go to 700 degrees. |
| Blonde Joke #39 |
Q: Why don't blondes have elevator jobs?
A: They don't know the route. |
| Blonde Joke #40 |
Q: Why don't blondes eat pickles?
A: They can't get their heads in the jar. |
| Blonde Joke #41 |
Q: Why was the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A: She was throwing all the W's away. |
| Blonde Joke #42 |
Q: Why don't blondes like making KOOL-AID?
A: Because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packet. |
| Blonde Joke #43 |
Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone. |
| Blonde Joke #44 |
Q: Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England?
A: She found out Big Ben is only a clock. |
| Blonde Joke #45 |
Q: How did the blonde burn her nose?
A: Bobbing for French fries. |
| Blonde Joke #46 |
Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk?
A: The cow fell on her. |
| Blonde Joke #47 |
Q: How did the blonde die ice-fishing?
A: She was run over by the zambonis machine. |
| Blonde Joke #48 |
Q: How did the blonde get ready for Y2K?
A: She changed all her y's to k's. |
| Blonde Joke #49 |
Q: Did you hear about the blonde who just bought an A.M. radio?
A. It took her a month to figure out she could play it at night too.
|
| Blonde Joke #50 |
Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A: She threw it off a cliff. |
| Blonde Joke #51 |
Q: How do blonde brain cells die?
A: Alone. |
| Blonde Joke #52 |
Q: Did you hear about the blonde that was treated at the emergency room for a concussion and severe head wounds?
A: she tried to commit suicide by hanging herself with a bungie cord. |
| Blonde Joke #53 |
Q: How do blondes pierce their ears?
A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads. |
| Blonde Joke #54 |
Q: How do you change a blonde's mind?
A1: Blow in her ear.
A2: Buy her another beer. |
| Blonde Joke #55 |
Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: You don't. They're born that way. |
| Blonde Joke #56 |
Q: How do you describe a blonde, surrounded by drooling idiots?
A: Flattered. |
| Blonde Joke #57 |
Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?
A: Tell her she's pregnant.
Q: What will she ask you?
A: "Is it mine?" |
| Blonde Joke #58 |
Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
A: Wave to her. |
| Blonde Joke #59 |
Q: How do you keep a blonde busy all day?
A: Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner. |
| Blonde Joke #60 |
Q: How do you keep a blonde in suspense?
A: (I'll tell you tomorrow.) |
| Blonde Joke #61 |
Q: How do you kill a blonde?
A: Put spikes in their shoulder pads. |
| Blonde Joke #62 |
Q: How do you know if a blonde writes mysteries?
A: She has a check book. |
| Blonde Joke #63 |
Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
A: You find m&m shells all over the place. |
| Blonde Joke #64 |
Q: How do you make blondes laugh on Monday mornings?
A: Tell them a joke on Friday night ! |
